Grown Up

15 Thursday Jul 2010

Posted by in kids, missions

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I’m in KC this week to put Caleb on a plane for Nicaragua in the morning. It’s the second time he has gone with his youth group. I’m not sure how I feel about it really! Oh, not in the way that you suppose, I’m not worried about him or concerned for his safety. I’m thinking more along the lines of relishing the giddy excitement that he is feeling, or the joy that he will experience sharing the good news about Jesus. I also know the impact it will have on him to see how the majority of the world really lives. Mission trips like this are where so many of us found the most life changing moments. I love knowing that is what this will be for him……….. life changing.

Last night the mission team shared the dramas and music they will be performing in parks, schools, and streets. (What an amazing group of kids!) I sat there in the audience holding back tears, kind of like I’m doing now. Silly I know, but its just the joy of seeing my child start out on this amazing journey in life, finding himself I suppose. He looked like a stranger on stage. Bass player extraordinaire standing in the back corner. Who is this man/boy? Is he really the kid who ran naked around the backyard when he was three? Really?!
I am so proud of the man he is becoming!

Update on Insanity!

28 Monday Jun 2010

Posted by in faith, move, suffering

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I’m sorry its been so long since my last update. So many things have happened (or NOT happened, depending on how you look at it) I didn’t even want to think about them let alone share them!

In my last post we were getting ready to close on the house. The movers were coming on the seventh and all was plugging along nicely. Sadly while I watched the movers cart all our stuff out of the house I got a call telling us we weren’t going to close. Actually that was the beginning of a pretty bad week. The bank just turned down the house and wouldn’t loan anything for it. Short explanation is that it is a unique rural property that just didn’t fit any set criteria to judge value. Banks don’t like things that don’t fit the prescribed mould and we were toast. The buyers went to another bank and after several circus like hoops to jump through the house is due to close this afternoon. In one hour and 15 minutes to be exact. I won’t be calm until I get the word that all is signed and DONE!!!

I will say this process has certainly been a growing experience. I know that God has planned this move for us. It is solely in His very cape able hands. I guess my humanness just jumps out and expects that when God is in control things will go smoothly and we won’t struggle. God has certainly taught us in all that. I KNOW He is in control with every part of me. But this has been HARD, and to be completely honest I am so tired of things being hard. I’m ready for some easy:) God didn’t promise us easy though, I’m sure Paul was wishing for some easy when he sat in his prison cell. At least I hope he was. That would make me feel better!

Spending time in scripture has been my lifesaver. Every time I feel myself starting to stress I would just focus on getting back into the word. Even when I was running to ballgames and the grocery store etc. I was thinking about when I was going to next get a chance to be back reading my Bible. Not doing in depth study on the faithfulness of God or anything, just reading. I started to read Job. Bad idea. If I wasn’t stressed before that about pushed me over the edge. My friend Nancy sent me to Psalm 107. That was such a great chapter to read through. I used Psalm 106:48 for a status on Facebook the other day. It brought me great joy and a few “Amens” from friends. I hope it does the same for you.

“Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Let all the people say, Amen!Praise the LORD” Psalms 106:48

Moving to Manhattan

31 Monday May 2010

Posted by in Manhattan, move

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You wouldn’t recognize me if you saw me. Sadly I look like I’ve been dragged backwards through a hedge……twice. I would post pictures for your entertainment, but the thought of those out there in the never land of the Internet doesn’t bear thinking about!

We are drawing closer to what looks like the end of our time in Kansas City. The movers come on Monday to load up. (When I talked to the moving company the woman commented on how much stuff we had. I kept thinking “You should have seen me 6 months ago!”)  We have gotten rid of so much! Most of our belongings are actually still packed. I haven’t seen a box of my shoes since October!!

This time really is bittersweet though. Randy and I have lived here for the majority of our lives with friends that are very precious. We are so happy that God has provided a job that Randy loves and has made the path to that job fairly smooth and simple, But the thought of starting over in a new area is a bit daunting. I’m trusting God knows what He is doing. I’m just along for the ride 🙂

We have a contract on a house in Manhattan. Randy and I went house hunting a couple weeks ago and found three that we loved/disliked. They all had at least one major drawback and we couldn’t decide which way to go. Finally we took the kids up last week and told them to decide. One house sold before we got there, which just told us that wasn’t in God’s plan. The other two were complete opposites. One was almost brand new, 3 bedroom 2 1/2 bath, beautiful house with an unfinished basement that had great potential. It was on 3.2 acres in the country with a view of the countryside. It’s drawback was the lot. On a corner, house smack dab in the middle with no trees but some scrub cedar.
The other was 20 years old in a valley right in the middle of the Flint Hills tucked in a large lot subdivision on 3 acres. Wooded with open spaces, a big front porch and 4 bedrooms 2 1/2 baths. It’s drawback was it’s partial basement and Manhattan schools. (largest 6A high-school in the state of Kansas).
We saw the new house first and I could see the disappointment on Em’s face. The boys were ambivalent. When we got to the second house all that changed. They all loved it and started fighting over bedrooms. Their excitement was contagious 🙂 After some negotiating, it is ours(ish). Inspections are tomorrow morning.
I will post pictures when we are closer to truly owning it! There is some work that needs to be done and updating (rubbermaid blue counter tops). But the potential is fantastic. God is so good to us.

Please continue to pray for the Bartel’s. Many of you know what the past year has been like for us. The thought of some stability and financial security feels a little like a dream. I know we are going where God is planting us, we are just learning to trust and lean on Him. Please pray that the kids transition well into schools and make friends. That we find a great church home. And that our finances allow us to get the house!!

Move Updates

04 Tuesday May 2010

Posted by in job, move

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Just a couple of updates. (And no the picture really doesn’t have anything to do with the post. These are my kids in the front. was taken at my brother -in -laws wedding a couple weeks ago and I LOVE IT! IT makes me smile whenever I see it! It is just an indicator of how I feel right now.)
First: We have a contract on the house! We have had it for about a week. Tomorrow are inspections and after we are through the renegotiation process I will feel more comfortable saying we have “SOLD” the house. We have actually had the contract for 6 days, but things have been so crazy I haven’t had time to update. I have to say since I posted the last time  God has just completely been in control of this process. I have done nothing. Everything that has happened, from the contract, to loan approval on our next house. God has opened doors and smoothed paths. I have started to stress a dozen times and God just whispers into my heart “BE STILL AND LET ME” and he has taken the stress and worry right away. Any doubt that Manhattan is where God intends us falters against that evidence!
Now we get to look for houses. Normally I love to look at houses but in this situation I’m not sure about where I’m going. God has opened doors wide up to now though, I’m sure He has this figured out too!

Second: Randy loves his job. That is a HUGE blessing! I know he would do it even if he didn’t like it just to provide for us, but God is again blessing in His abundant way.

I’m trying not to be the puppy running in circles around God!

“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom ans revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints , and His incomparably great power for us who believe.” Eph 1:17-19

Chasing My Tail

21 Wednesday Apr 2010

Posted by in Uncategorized

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So I had a light bulb moment yesterday. I was mowing the yard and consciously focusing on God. Sort of a combination of praying, meditating and avoiding sticks. (Weird combination I know but there you go.)
 I am a fixer. I know I’ve said before that as long as I have a plan I can handle anything. I don’t think the WORD says however that I can do all things through Christ as long as I have a plan! I can get very wrapped up in the process of doing. kind of like a puppy when you first bring him home. He spends countless minutes running in circles, digging holes, chasing the ball, constantly running , moving, doing something. while you are waiting patiently at the side with the food and water bowl, just waiting for him to calm down long enough to notice you! I am like that puppy!  Never stopping while God waits patiently. Then I collapse exhausted at His feet wondering why He isn’t acting in my life. I got the distinct impression that God was waiting for me to stop yesterday. Stop and wait patiently for Him to show, teach and do.
I have this tendency to feel like God isn’t going to act unless I’m doing something. Reality is Its not about me and what I do. All the scrambling and running and worrying isn’t going to change God. I think he is waiting for this puppy to collapse at His feet and say “OK, I’m done” Then when I am worn out from all my scrambling, He acts. All He wants from me is a teachable heart not me trying to fix everything. I think the God of the universe can handle my life much better than I can. I just need to give up and let Him!

Renovation AFTER pictures!!!

06 Tuesday Apr 2010

Posted by in Uncategorized

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So I guess the house is as done as its going to get. There are still odds and ends to take care of, I need to get a used over the stove microwave; put a side on the jacuzzi tub; replace a broken pane of glass; replace a seal on the front edge of the garage that is allowing a tiny bit of water in the basement wall and tile the hearth of the fireplace. But other than those items we can say DONE!! Now my goal is to say SOLD!!! I am going back to the beginning to show the complete transformation.
Living Room BEFORE
Living Room AFTER

Kitchen BEFORE
Kitchen AFTER
Family Room BEFORE
Family Room AFTER

Silence

02 Friday Apr 2010

Posted by in Easter, Hope

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Today I woke up at 5am unable to go back to sleep. Maybe I could have if I really tried, but Good Friday is on my mind. It’s so quiet and dark out now, it makes it easy to picture Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, or the early hours in the morning before His crucifixion. There had to be in all the craziness of the trial and activity, moments of silence like this where it feels like the earth is waiting.

“The heavens are telling of the glory of God; and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands. Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.”
Psalms 19:1-2 NAS

I picture that quiet before the earth can’t contain itself in silence any longer. The waiting for an event that literally changed to world in far greater ways than we can ever imagine. The quiet before pain, blood, suffering, and loss. All because of me, or rather, all because God loves me.
I often wonder what people who aren’t Believers think of  Good Friday and then of Easter. Do they really only see the chocolate bunnies and the baskets of eggs? Can’t they feel the earths silence? The waiting quiet before that moment of celebration of resurection? To me the silence seems deafening!

We Have Flooring!

18 Thursday Mar 2010

Posted by in Uncategorized

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With some late nights, early mornings, and help from friends (Thank You Rick P and Ken K!) We now have hardwood floors installed on the main level of the house. Yipee!!
When Randy and I picked out the floors, we picked something we would like, not thinking too much about resale. I know they might not be to everyone’s taste, but we loved the variations in color. I think it will be beautiful when I get furniture in and pictures on the walls. Though to be honest the thought of unpacking all that stuff just to repack it in a few weeks to move doesn’t excite me much.
Cabinets are going to be picked up tomorrow, along with all the trim that I will spend all day outside painting. At least I’ll get to be outside, it is supposed to be beautiful!
We also had the kids from De Soto Youth Ministries (the youth group Caleb and Emma participate with) out all day on Tuesday. Even though it was cold outside they raked leaves, mulched, cleaned out flower beds, moved three brush piles to a central location, hauled trash out of the garage and shed to the dumpster, moved old cabinets and even chopped up a tree for us! They worked for several people Monday, Tuesday and today raising money for a Haitian orphanage. Several teens and adults had planned for several months to go to Haiti this week to work at the orphanage but the earthquake made that an impossibility. They have raised almost $11,000 over the last couple of months.
Anyway, we should have things looking good by Monday. Randy will be gone all week to Manhattan, so no big jobs will get done while he is gone. Hopefully everything will be done enough to put the house on the market…………

Update on the remodel

09 Tuesday Mar 2010

Posted by in move, Renovations

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Just to give you a quick update on the remodel. We have obviously changed our focus and now we are are calling this our “Flip” HA! I’ve always thought it would be kind of cool to flip a house, now I’m not so sure. This is hard work! Today I made the obligatory trip to Home Depot, painted doors, pulled up the kitchen linoleum,  ordered the dumpster, and contacted the kids youth group to work on the yard for their work day next week. We are having to choose very carefully what to spend money on and what not to. It’s hard to decide what will help us sell vs doing what is unnecessary. The kitchen is where most of our time and money will be. Earlier we planned to take a wall out and rearrange the layout. Now we are putting it back the way it was, just with all new everything!
It’s a little bittersweet to do all this work and picture how great it will be when we get done, only to sell it as quickly as possible. This evening I was on the back deck getting rid of trash and I could hear the frogs in the pond on a neighboring property. I have to remind myself of what God has been writing on my heart lately. Let go of my dreams to allow God to accomplish something bigger than I can imagine. I’m trying!
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and HE will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
This verse was one of the first I memorised walking on campus back in the day. It’s been one that has come often to my mind in the last few months.

Do I have Love?

27 Saturday Feb 2010

Posted by in Uncategorized

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In the last year Randy and I said to God that we would go wherever He wanted us to. Honestly I was hoping for somewhere exciting, I mean I told God I would go ANYWHERE. (I was thinking about just having come back from the trip to Africa last January.) I even grudgingly said I’d go someplace cold, and if you know me you know THAT is sacrifice. We really meant it too, anywhere…. You know where God is sending us? About an hour and a half west of where I am now. On one hand I am a little sad it wasn’t a more exciting place. On the other hand God has made it pretty clear that He is the one sending us there and that is so exciting to me. Not only did He provide Randy a job in Manhattan, He provided Randy a great job in Manhattan! so obviously my thoughts are consumed with making ready and selling a house. Finding a place to live. Transitioning the kids as smoothly as possible etc, etc……. Today though the thought of pointing my faith feet toward Manhattan has been topmost in my thoughts.

I haven’t talked much lately about putting feet to my faith, which is really what this blog started out to be. I think the thought of God calling to put my feet in motion and go somewhere else that He has called me has gotten me thinking about everything in light of that again. Ordinary me trying to do what God calls all of us to do everyday. Show myself and others what it really looks like to walk my faith in the real world. What are practical ways to live like I love Jesus everyday? In doing this I have experienced growth and challenge, prayer and an intensity in my relationship with God. No big theology or evangelism plans but real walking with Jesus and what that means.
The walk this year or so has been eventful. God has opened my eyes to so much that I would never have even noticed without this experience. There are many hurting people out there. People that you never suspect live with hurt that they think they hide from everyone else. Often we have little time to really engage in conversation deeper than the flippant “how’s it going?”. If we did maybe we could see past the surface and into their hearts. The sadness that loss brings. The anxiety that is behind every bite of food that passes into their mouth. The hopelessness and desperation that comes with physical disability. The brutal pain of a spouse telling you they just don’t love you any more. Sadly I know someone who is dealing with each of those things. A couple of them are covered by more than one person. 

What am I doing to reach out and Love them the way Jesus would?  I’m not sure. I know that there is a reason God has put those people in my path. He doesn’t do anything by accident. For me it always helped when someone acknowledged my pain. Mentioned the elephant in the room so to speak 🙂 Love speaks volumes. One thing I will try to do is to pray that I show love the way God models it to us. Sometimes I think we try to make it more complicated than it needs to be. Show love.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love , I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.                                                                   1 Corinthians 13:1-3