I realize now that I am a parent that what I remember frommy childhood might not always be accurate. I say that because my kids arealways saying something about an event or time and I look at them knowing fullwell that they are totally wrong, but their perception of that event or time isaccurate in their minds. That said; don’t judge my dad too harshly by mymemories. If he were here he could defend himself.

My dad went through hobbies like nobody’s business. The onesI have a clear memory of included. Flying and airplanes; Computers, Photography-I think this is where I really got started loving photography. He gave me myfirst 35mm for my 16th birthday. Jewelry- he designed a ring for mymom and bought some diamonds as an investment. Real Estate- he was a licensedagent and my parents owned rental property from time to time. Baseball Cards, Snowplowing, Cars- this was the one hobby I remember lasting through all the otherones. He was always messing around with the car. Rebuilding engines, body work,collecting parts, our garage was an insane mess of stuff. Ask anyone who knewhim!

 I know that many ofhis hobbies came out of a need to provide for his family. (Real Estate and snowplowing for instance.) Being a full time pastor of a small church didn’texactly bring in the big bucks, but the Pastorate was his passion. His heartwas always invested in Jesus, the WORD and people. I think those things definedhim, not all the crazy things he got involved in outside of that. The crazythings engaged his head, but his heart was always in the Pastorate.

I guess I’m coming to realize that I’m more like my dad thanI even thought I was. I’ve jumped around so much with so many different thingsthat I know I’ve driven Randy crazy. I get a great idea I just KNOW is the solutionfor my short attention span (and in which I could never lose interest). I giddilydo that thing for a while, looking for ways to do it more until I start doingit less, get distracted and start thinking of new ideas. I know what you’rethinking, and it’s totally possible that you’re right. I’m a head case.

Real Estate has been a way for me to help provide for myfamily and it is fun. I enjoy it and it really engages my head. But it doesn’tengage my heart. I think I’m helping people, I don’t think I could work in aplace where I felt like I wasn’t contributing something, but my heart cravessomething more.  After the conference inSeptember it’s just gotten worse. I really want to be involved in work thatengages my heart. The fact that I have one kid in college, and two gettingready for it means I have to do something that brings home a paycheck. So hereis the quandary. How do I find something that engages my head and my heart? CanI? Is my heart discontent here because I’m not made for this place?

                If Idiscover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy,the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. C. S. Lewis

Or do I just really have this character flaw of a shortattention span? Any thoughts, besides the ones dealing with the fact that I’m ahead case? If you have it figured out, let me know.